


The end of the beginning

by Skye_R



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Can they live without him?, Forgotten AU, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry for whats about to happen, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, This is just a lot of sadness, What Was I Thinking?, suicide note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_R/pseuds/Skye_R
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His team no longer needs him, now that they have Kageyama. It hurts to see them forget that he's even there in the gym with them. His 'parents' (if he could even call them that) are never home and when they are they're yelling and screaming at each other about money and their marriage. Today was the worst day, he found out that he is failing most of his classes including his favourite, he got in a fight with his boyfriend, his team tolled him that they didn't really need him anymore, and finally to top it all off today of all days for this to happen it was on his birthday</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be sad I'm sorry. Also this is the first time I've written a fanfic so... Sorry if it's not the best. One will commit suicide, so this is a warning (I'll give a heads up when it will happen). Enjoy :)

When Suga woke up this morning with the sunshine seeping through his window warming him with the morning heat and lighting up his room. He though that today of all days, was going to be a good day. That was until he heard his parents yelling at each other about what he thought was a normal. That's when he heard it. His dad was finally saying what he thought of his family how Suga's dad doesn't love his mom any more and how the last 26 years of their marriage has been hell for Suga's dad, how he thought that they should have never had Suga. Suga just sat there afraid that if he moved right now he would disappear, but Suga wasn't about to let his parents fighting bring him down today, it was his birthday, and he was going to be happy about it for once. When his dad and mom finally left Suga's school has already started. As he walk to school on this particular cool, windy day he thought of how he was going to spend his birthday with his friends, his team, and his boyfriend Daichi, forgetting about his parents this morning.

When Suga finally got to school he walks into class late witch has never happened before but this mornings fight slowed him down a lot. When he got to his seat Daichi turned around quickly to whisper a hello to Suga before going back to writing the note on the board. God, Daichi looked good today with the sun's soft light hitting the left side of Daichi's face, with the shadow of the trees outside sitting on top of Daichi's skin, and his big bright smile could fix most of Suga's problems. Most.

As Suga was about to go to lunch with Daichi He was called to the staff room, so he tolled Daichi to just wait where they usually eat their lunch as he was talking to his teachers.

"Ah. Mr. Sugawara thank you for coming in so quickly. Please have a seat." says his English teacher pointing to a chair in front of him, as Suga walks into the room and sits in front of his homeroom teacher. Right away Suga knew something was wrong. "Good afternoon sir. what was it you would like to talk to me about?" Suga likes to keep it professional in moments like this. "I don't know how to say this. even after all this time teaching and telling a hand full of kids every year the same thing, this is still hard to say so I'll just say it." The teacher stops to take a deep breath. Suga is starting to get scared. When his teacher finally says it. " You are failing all your classes but one and even that class your grades are almost at the failing point. Even if you were to take summer school that wouldn't get you all your classes where they need to be so, you, Mr. Sugawara will be needing to do a repeat year." Suga didn't know what to think. This was the worst thing to happen to him, he can't go home and tell his parents that he will have to do a repeat year, his dad would have a cow, and how the hell will he tell Daichi after all this planning they've done for their future of them living together as they go through college. this was 100% the worst thing that could happen to him today. Sadly Suga doesn't even know the half of it.

After leaving the staff room Suga started to walk to where he and Daichi usually eat lunch. As Suga walked to Daich he decided to wait to tell Daichi about the repeat year. "Suga! what happen? what did the teacher want to talk to you about?" "Oh, nothing just some stuff about college." "Oh ok." Suga just stared at Daichi. He still hasn't said happy birthday to him, and after all the thing that happened today Suga's mind was starting to overthink everything. 'Please don't tell me my boyfriend forgot my birthday. Pleasedon'ttellmemyboyfriendforgotmybirthday. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT MY BOYFRIEND FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!' "What's with that face Suga? you look like you just saw me kill a baby." "did you really forget?" Suga said in just above a whisper voice, not trusting his normal voice. "What did you say Suga?" Daichi sad getting a little closer to Suga. "You really did forget" suga said this time so Daichi could hear him. "forget what?" Daichi said looking really confused. This was Suga's braking point, the cherry on top of his worst birthday cake. " I CAN'T BELIVE YOU FORGOT! OF ALL PEOPLE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD REMEMBER EVEN MY FAMILY FORGOT!" The look on Daichi's face scares Suga, he has never seen Daichi look this angry with him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT! I'M STRESSED ABOUT MY OWN THINGS RINGHT NOW SUGA AND SO WHAT IF I FORGOT SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A DATE OF A DUMB MONTH! AND GOD DAMN IT SUGA! I'M FUCKING TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT YOUR FUCKED UP FAMILY!" Daichi regretted everything he said the second he said it, the look on Suga's eyes were welling up with tears, and his body was begging to shake. The best way to put the look on Suga's face is that Daichi would rather see the face Suga made when they lost a big game. Suga looked more then defeated he looked... he looked... well he looked like Daichi ripped out Suga's hear and stomped on it, then did an Irish jig on it. "Suga... I-I... I didn-" Suga just Walked pass Daich, no it was more of a run. Daichi fallowed calling his name. Suga just kept running till he knew that he lost Daichi. Suga sat down against a tree for support bringing his knees up to his face and cried till he felt a headache start and the bell to signal the start of the next class. Suga walked into class with seconds to spare. with his eyes still red from crying and just put his head down on his desk. He thanked God that Daichi didn't have the same afternoon classes as him. 'What a crappy birthday' Suga thought

Finally it's the end of the day and Suga could be with his friends, his team, his family, a lest one of them should remember his birthday. Then Suga remembers what happened at lunch with Daichi. And remembers that Daichi will be there, of course he'll be there his the caption, and Suga's the vice caption. Suga really doesn't want to see Daichi, let alone be near him. '... I'm sure it'll be ok if I show up a little late.' And that is what Suga did He showed up 4mins late (any less then that he would risk seeing Daichi, anymore people would ask questions) or that was what he thought, but when he got in to the gym no one even said 'hi' or 'Suga! you're here!' Nope. Suga didn't even get a glance his way. He didn't know why he thought he would though, it's been like this for a while. No one saw or heard Suga endless they wanted something from him. But as Suga watch his team practise with Kageyama setting to them, Suga smiled at them even if they didn't notice. But then his heart shattered when he heard what Tanaka said. "Wow! Kageyama you're an awesome setter! We don't even need... Um... another setter!" Did Tanaka just forget Suga's name? Did he really just say they don't need Suga? Suga didn't stay around long to hear what the others had to say about it. Suga just ran as he started to cry. He ran as fast as he could to get home. To be by himself. The street lamps making big circles lighting the way. ' Dose the tem even need my any more? Of course they don't no one even needs me any more. No one. Even my dad hates the idea of me and my mom thinks I'm to blame for the fighting... Maybe I am... Hell I'm the reason Daichi and I had a fight today... Holy hell... It is my fault not just for this, but every thing is my fault...Everybody would be happier without me.'

When he finally got home he was by himself. '... I know how to fix it. I know how to make every thing better for every one.' Suga though as he makes his way to the kitchen, looking for something in the drawers. "I'll die." Suga says as he grabs the handle of the knife. Bringing it up to his face to look at his reflection. His eyes are red and his cheeks are wet from crying, his hair his messy and sweaty from running all the way home, his skin is pale with the only colour being the light brown mole under his eye.


	2. Good-bye I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS ALL ONE BIG TRIGGER SO IF YOU ARE NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE KILLING THEMSELFS PLZ DON'T READ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you every feel like you are going to kill yourself please please talk to some one because no matter what other say or what you think your life is worth everything and people do love you <3

Suga was sitting in his bathroom feeling the cool metal of the empty tub along his back. He had changed out of his school uniform into a plane white T-shirt that seemed a size to big and light grey sweatpants. he grabbed his IPod and put it on shuffle. he almost laughed at the song that played as he started writing a note to... To... Well to whoever found him first.

 

I don't know what to write. First it's no ones fault, stuff has been built up over time and now it's my fault. It's bit a long time coming honestly I've felt like I should be dead for around 8 months now I remember it because It scared me a little I though that I should be happy because I have a roof over my head and other things like that but now I'm not scared at all now. I'm ready to say good-bye now. Because... Life isn't what I thought it was going to be. Mom & dad I want to thank you for spending so much time, money, and effort on a son who can't do anything right. I still love you. Daichi I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I'm so weak, I'm sorry that you had to put up with me as your boyfriend for so long, but I do in some stupid way hope you'll still ~~love~~ remember me because I still love you. It's just better for you and the team... And everyone really that I die. The team has everyone and everything they need to win finals. I know you can make it without me because I see it everyday at practise with my two own eyes. Good luck... And Daichi I know it's stupid to say this now and you probably won't believe me because actions speak louder then words but I do still love you. 

 

Suga put the pen down on top of the note sitting on the side of the tub next to him. He closed his eyes and walked through his house in his head, he walked through his mornings at home then walking to school with Daichi, morning practises, and all the class that his grades show how much of a waste of time he is.

 

Suga opens his eyes and looks down to his pale yet steady hands griping the knife making his knuckle white. He brings the knife to his stomach as the knife goes through the shirt and pierces his skin but he feels nothing. Nope. Never mind. It hurt it hurts it hurts it hurts OH GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH! 

Suga looks down to his side to see where the knife has made a hole in his side he grabs the handle of the knife and pulls it out. What a mistake that was, he has never know pain like this before. Suga could feel the blood pool out of him. All Suga can see is Red. His white shirt. Red. His light grey sweatpants. Red. And his eyes fallow the red path all the way down to the tub drain.

 

All Suga can feel is coldness, and the pain not just in his side but the pain in his chest because it feels like he can't get enough air in his lungs. The pain the pain the pain the pain THE PAIN! Suga's eye sight start to blur and his eyes feel heavy with pain as he closes his eyes and takes out last _painfully_ shaky breath.

 

Then all he can see is black as the song ends and then everything stops with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when the next chapter will be out but it will be in Daichi pov  
> The song Suga was listening to was If I die young by the band perry


	3. To late to say sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh God please let nothing happen to Suga, not when Daichi still has to apologize for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be in Daichi's pov

Daichi can believe he did that to Suga today. He was such a jerk and he made Suga cry. Daichi really didn't mean it when he said didn't care about Suga and his home life it was just Daichi has been under a lot pressure from his parents pushing him to be at the top of the class and with being the captain of the volleyball team and trying to make the team to work as... Well... A team but that's what a vice captain is for, to help the captain with the team. Wow Daichi really messed up with Suga today.

 

Something Suga said at lunch plays over and over in Daichi mind ' I can't believe you forgot today! Even my mom and dad forgot!' What did Daichi forget? What was so important that it made Suga lose it? An anniversary? No theirs is in two months. A birth-... Oh fuck... It's Suga's birthday... Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck. **OH.  FUCK!** 'How the hell could I forget my own boyfriend's birthday! Even when both his mother and father forgot! I'M SUCH AN DUMBASS!' Daichi thinks as he threw on his black Spring jacket and his running shoes and starts  running sprinting to Suga's house.

 

But Daichi was already to late. When Daichi turns the corner of Suga's street he's blinded by red, white, and blue lights of the ambulance and police outside of Suga's house. His boyfriend's house. Daichi didn't think it was possible to run any faster but that's what he did. He. Ran. Faster. Daichi's mind was flooded with thoughts of what could be happening was it Suga's dad? Mom? Oh God please let nothing happen to Suga, not when Daichi still has to apologize for everything. As he go closer he could see Suga's dad out in the front lawn with his arms draped over Suga's mom with his face buried in her hair and his shoulders are shaking and Suga's mom is sobbing (she was always an ugly crier) with a sheet of paper in her hands.

 

Daichi is finally in front of the Sugawara household but his mind is just starting to put things together when Suga's parents look up at him and most of it clicks together now. Something is vary wrong with Suga. Then the paramedics come out of the house with a gurney and a figure covered by a white sheet but you can see a red stain on the sheet. Daichi's stomach drops. Daichi finds himself on his knees as the gurney passes' by but everything is blurry as he can feel tiers fall down his face because he knows what's under the white sheet.

 

 

_Suga._

 

 

Daichi can feel arms of the Sugawara's rap around him as he cries sobs. He could hear Suga's mom crying with little hiccups of "sorry" and " please" and probable the most painful thing to hear "Koushi!" But all Daichi can think is 'God please oh God please don't take him away please please please please **PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM!** ' But its too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked it! I'm not sure what pov I'm going to have it in next chapter but if you have a pov you want to see please tell me and I'll see what I can do :) 
> 
> Till next time little birds


	4. The meeting (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a filler but it holds info for the next few chapters

Ukai is opening up the store expecting Hanta and Kagama to barge through the door asking for food before school starts like they do every morning. When he hears his cell phone ring on the counter. ' I'm to tired to talk to anyone. If it's important they'll leave a voicemail or just call again'. Ukai thinks as he stretched his tired muscles.

As he walks over to the counter to get his cigarettes, his phone rings again showing the contact he saved for the high school 'why the hell are they calling me? We don't have practice this morning so what the hell?' Ukai finally snaps back when the phone stops ringing. Before he could even think if he should call back the phone rings again. He picks up this time.

 

"hello?" Ukai ask with a little hint of concern in his voice but his not sure why.

 

There's a long pause but he knows the person on the other line had heard him. Now the little concern turned into a big concern.

 

"Hello." A strong female voice said of the other end. Ukai recognized the voice as the principle of the local high school.

 

" sorry for calling you so early and I'm sure you have work to attend to but I would ask if you could come to the school right now for a meeting with all the other teachers about one of our students."

 

"Why do I gotta go? I'm not a teacher, I'm just the volleyball coach."

 

"Well... It has something to do with one of the volleyball members actually." The women's voice didn't sound confident as it was the beginning of the sentence but quickly brought her vocie back.

"Listen, if this is something about Hanta and Kagama. That's just wh-" Ukai didn't get to finish his sentence before he was cut off.

 

"No. This is about one of the third years actually." Her voice started to go soft and a little shaky. "Please do come to the meeting it is very important."

Ukai was a little scared now "What?! A third year? Who wa-" Ukai was cut off again by the principle's voice

 

" The meeting starts in 20 minutes. We hope to see you there."

 

Then she hung up.

Ukai was confused but quickly closed the store and ran to his car.

When Ukai finally got to the school the meeting was going to start in 5 minutes.

 

Ukai was looking for the staffroom for a few minutes and now the meeting starts in 3 minutes and Ukai is actually pretty considered about what's going on with his third years because they are a family and if they have to have a meeting about this then it can't be good.

 

"Ukai?" A soft male voice said suddenly behind Ukai making him jump a little.

 

"Oh, Takeda it's you." Ukai said as he tried to calm his beating heart.

 

"Ya it's me, Ukai. What are you doing here?" Takeda said with confused look in his eyes

 

"I was asked to join the meeting that was being healed this morning."

 

"Why? Your just the coach?" Takeda said tilting his head a little to his left

 

"Apparently it's about one of the kids on the team."

 

"If this is about Hanta and Kaga-"

 

"No, It's about one of third years."

Takeda's face went deadpan. How could one of their perfect third years do something that the school needs to hold a meeting about it?

Takeda's scared now.

 

"Lets go then!" Takeda almost yelled but his voice was to shaky to bring up to a yelling volume. Ukai doesn't have time to say anything before Takeda grabs his wrist and starts to speed walking down the hallway to the staffroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked it! if you see anything wrong with the spelling or Grammar please tell me! If you want to see a pov of anyone please let me know. Idk when the next chapter will be out but hopefully it'll be soon. :)


	5. Finding Out (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a long-ish time!!! I had a hard time getting back in to righting but I really like this chapter, so enjoy :)

As Takeda and Ukai walk through the door of the staff room they're met with the eyes of all the teachers, not one coach or other volunteers. That's when Takeda realizes that something is very wrong if all of the teachers are here (even the guidance counsellors are here).

"Oh! Takeda-san, Ukai-san, you made it. Would you please have a seat."

A voice stated Takeda looked at the owner of the voice. The woman was seated at the head of the table at the opposite end. She healed a folder in her hands close to her chest. Takeda look up at Ukai with worry in his eyes and Ukai looked back with the same worry in his eyes, but Ukai shrugged his shoulders as if saying ' We don't know what's wrong till we're told what happened.' Then Ukai starts to sit in the seat in front of him and Takeda takes a seat next to him.

"Now that have everyone here I would like to talk about one of our third years. Sugawarma Koshi."

Takeda's stomach drops. ' what could Suga-san do to make everyone worry like this!' Takeda looks over at Ukai and the look on Ukai's face is one he hasn't seen before his eyes are blown wide and but it his pupils were small and his lips were parted a little... It was a look of complete worry. Just as she starts to talk she opened the folder and put it in the middle of the table. In it was a school picture of Suga, along with his grade, age, address, and class room. But out of all the things on the folder one thing stood out. His birthday and... His date of death.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                'June 13th 199x-June 13th 201x'

"We have some bad news about our third year... Mr. Sugawarma was found dead late last night in his home... H-He..." She stuttered out. " He committed suicide."

"W-What? Are you sure?!" One of the teachers asked.Takeda guesses' that it's one of Suga's teachers.

"Yes, I'm sure." The principle stated with a sad look in her eye's.

"No, Suga-san wouldn't do that to himself!" One of the others commented.

But Takeda is at a loss of words. Takeda knew that Suga wasn't doing well in one of his class's and he noticed Suga wasn't showing up to some practices and when he did he wasn't completely motivated but Takeda thought Suga was just stressed about college next year.

'But... But this. I-I could have talked to him! I could have asked what was wrong.' Takeda thought as he could feel the ball in his throat form and he can feel his eyes start to water.

"Takeda... I know... I know but we need to keep it together... Just till we're by ourselves" Ukai whispered to Takeda as he takes his hand under the table.

At this point everyone is to involved in their own conversation to hear anything Takeda or Ukai are gonna say.

"How?" Takeda asked under his breath and if Takeda didn't already have Ukai's undivided attention, Ukai would have missed what he said. " How... How could Suga do this to us... H-he was apart of this family... Why wou-" Takeda sobbed out but before he could continue Ukai interrupted him.

"Hey, hey it's ok it'll be ok, we'll get through this".

The principle's loud voice interrupts everyone's conversation.

" I will be making an announcement about it this morning, but for right now , be fore we leave we'll have a moment of silence for our third year, Sugawarma Koshi."

The room falls into silence but to Takeda it was the loudest silence. Loud with his heart being pulled in half for a boy who he would never see again. Loud with the silence of a missing person who without the world will never be the same again. Loud with the silence of all the teachers thinking about how they are going to try their hardest not to let their students actually see how sad they are that the nicest person they have ever met is gone now... Or maybe it was just Takeda thinking that. If not for him holding Ukai's hand he probably would have started crying along time ago.

"Please send down any students who would like to talk about today's announcement right away to the guidance counsellors office. That's it for today's meeting... Thank you for coming... All of you."

The principle breathed out. Everyone started to stand and leave the room with a look of despair on their faces . Takeda lets go of Ukai's hand as he stands but before he leaves he hears his name being called.

"Takeda and Ukai can I speak to the both of you quickly" The principle asked. Pointing to her office.

All three of them walked in to her office. As she sat down she asked them to sit in the chairs in front of her desk.

"First let me say that I sorry for the loss of not just a student on your team but a person apart of your school family."

Takeda felt a shiver run up his back and tears well up in his eyes. Ukai talked for him knowing he can't trust his voice.

" It's hard to believe he did... That.."

"For what I called you guys in for, I would like you to tell your team before school whether it be before or after practice that's up to you. I just don't think it would be good for them to find out about this from some voice on the PA telling everyone the same thing, but to find out from you two, the people who know exactly what to say to them."

God, not only does Ukai and him have to come to terms with what they where just told but now they have to tell a group of teenagers who just Lost not just a teammate but a brother. Takeda could feel the burning ball in his throat start to form. Ukai speaks for the both of them again.

"Ya... I see what you mean... Sure we can tell them."

"Thank you... The both of you". She mumbled as she goes back to her work.

Takeda and Ukai start to walk out of her office and towards the gym. As they walked Takeda grabs Ukai's hand and squeezed it and for a few seconds, there was no squeeze back and it scared Takeda but then he felt a tight squeeze on his hand and Takeda couldn't hold in all his feels any more luckily they were in front of the gym by this point and Ukai just pulled Takeda into the gym, closed the door and pulled Takeda into his chest and raped his arms around him.

"UKAI! IT HURTS! MY HEART IT HURTS! IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY TOO, HE DIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY!"

"I know Takeda. Shh. I know Takeda."

"Why... Why... Maybe if I saw I could have stopped this, maybe if I... I don't know... If I did more. I should have noticed something was wrong when he didn't show up at the last practice. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN." Takeda sobbed in to Ukai's shirt.

" No. No. No. No one could have know what he was going through, he... Just... He just... Damn it!"

Ukai couldn't hold it in any more as he cried and sobbed into the top of Takeda's head. They slipped on to the floor, still holding on to each other like the other was a life line. The stayed like that, crying into each other on the floor for a while as they both started to run out of tears.

" lets get cleaned up and start getting ready for the practice." Ukai stated as he started to stand bringing Takeda up with him.

After sometime of setting up the gym in silence Takeda speaks up.

" We'll tell them after practice right, Ukai?"

"Ya..."

Just then two first burst through the door, both completely out of breath but both with big smiles on their faces.

'Let them be happy for just a little longer.' Takeda thinks to himself as he greats the two boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be seen through the eyes of someone on the team (not sure who yet, so if there is someone you want to see please tell me) <3


	6. We will miss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I'm sorry for the long wait but here's a long chapter to make up for it!  
> I'm going to make another angst fic but idk what ship to do... Tsukkiyama, Iwaoi, Kuroken, or Bokuaka? leave a comment for the ship you want me to hurt next!!

Hinata was out of breath as he greets his sensei "Good morning to you too, Takeda-sensei!" Hinata replies happily, not yet noticing the sad look in his sensei's eyes and the fake smile on his face. Hinata then runs off to grab a ball for him and Kageyama to practise with.

 

"Good morning, Sensei." Kageyama add before fallowing behind Hinata.

 

Hinata was bumping the volleyball to himself with his arms shaking with excitement... At lest that's what he thinks. Now that Hinata has calm down a little from the race he had with Kageyama, Hinata notices that there's a weird feeling in the air as he looks over at his sensei's talking quietly to each other. The type of feeling that could kill a person if you were to say the wrong thing. As Hinata looks around he also notices that they're miss a few people ( two to be exact.) Sure, Hinata and Kageyama are always early for practice but Daichi and Suga are always there first, and Suga is the one that greets them at the door.

'Somethings not right.' Hanta thinks to himself. But all of his worries disappear when he here's his name being call.

 

"Oi! Hinata… Dumbass! Are you listening?" Kageyama asked as he pops right in front of Hanta face, making him drop the ball he was playing with.

  

"Oh… Um … Sorry Kageyama! Are you ready to practice now?"

 

"Yeah, lets start."

 

Hinata and Kageyama start to bump the ball back and forth to each other waiting for their captain and/or their co-captain to show up. Both of the boys are a little uneasy that neither of their captains are there, but they don't say anything about it.

 

Hinata is talking about how evil his math teacher is because she was going to give them a big unit test today. To get his mind of the uneasiness.

Hinata could tell by the look on Kageyama's face that he forgot about both the feeling in the room and the test.

 

"You forgot about the test didn't you? Kageyama dumbass! Hahaha!" Hinata laughed at Kageyama as he starts to yell at Hinata, but stopped as soon as they hear the doors open hoping to see Daichi and Suga but it's Tanaka, Asahi, and Noya.

 

" Where is Daichi and Suga?" Noya asks loudly as soon as he enters the gym.

 

"Yeah, I usually see them walking together on my way here, but I didn't see them today. I thought they were here already, but I guess not." Asahi added with a little bit of worry in his eye's as he looks over at the couches.

 

Takeda looks like he's trying not to frown(but fails) as he try's to come up with a reason for why the team captains that would never be late, let alone miss a practice, we're not there yet. Ukai phone ringtone grabs everyone's attention. Ukai runs over to look at who's calling. From Hanta's point of view, at the other end of the gym, it looks like Ukai tenses up a little before answering the phone.

 

" Hello! Daichi! Where are you?" Ukai asks quickly.

 

Everyone has gathered around Ukai now, as he talks on the phone. Hanta stands next to Kageyama as Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Kiyoko, Yachi, and the rest of the team come through the metal doors. They walk over to where everyone is standing. Yamaguchi lends over to whisper to Hinata.

 

"What's going on?" Yamaguchi asks quietly a nought so he won't disturb Ukai on the phone but loud a nought so the others who just joined can hear the answer too.

 

"Daichi and Suga haven't shown up yet" Hinata replied quickly, as if he would miss something if he didn't listen closely

Everyone gasped a little as they listened to what Hinata had said. Everyone went silent as well.

It's silent for a moment as Ukai listens to Daichi talk on the other line.

 

"Thanks for telling me but there is something I need to speck to you about, aft-" Ukai stopped mid word. Hinata guesses it's because Daichi interrupted him.

 

"Oh… So you all ready know about S- … It? I'm so sorry." Ukai continued with a hint of worry and sadness in his eyes.

 

Hinata could hear Noya talking to Asahi on the other side of the semicircle the team formed to listen in on the Coach's phone call.

"Daichi already knows what? What is Ukai sorry about?...Asahi, do you know?"

 

Hinata didn't hear Asahi's response because Ukai started to talk again.

 

"I understand Daichi. Come back when you're ready, okay? But I still would like to talk to you again sometime today… With _out_ listening ears." He says as he looks at the team around him. Then he hangs up the phone.

 

That's when the questioning started.

 

"Ukai what's going on? Why isn't Daichi here?" Noya asked first.

 

"What about suga-san, where is he?" Yamaguchi asked next without giving Ukai any time to answer and previous question.

 

"What were you sorry about?" Kageyama asked, and Hinata can tell Kageyama is worried so Hinata slides his hand in to Kageyama's hand and squeezes slightly in hopes that it'll help Kageyama somehow. Then Hinata feels Kageyama squeeze back and Kageyama lends in to Hinata's side a little bit too.

 

" What are we goin-" Yachi was cut off by Takeda's voice.

 

" Listen guys." Takeda takes a deep breath then exhales loud and shaky, and then continues. "We will answer your questions after practise, okay?" Takeda finishes.

 

" … Okay…" Everyone said in unison.

 

From there on out the practice when on as normal… As normal as it could be with the team missing to big parts of their team. Ennoshita was the step in captain for this practise. He did a good job too, he kept everyone busy and working hard to make sure that the team would sort of forget about the missing links, and it worked… Only for a while. But once practice started to come to an end everyone remembered what Takeda said ' _we will answer all your questions after practice'._ Everyone got antsier and antsier the closer it got to the end of practice. When Ukai blew the final whistle to signal the end of practice Hinata was ready to jump out of his skin from nervousness about what the sensei's wanted to tell the team. Without even telling them the team gathered around Ukai and Takeda.

 

" okay, I would like for all of you to sit down please." Ukai spook up. As he looked over at Takeda with worried eyes as everyone settled on the floor.

 

" Listen… Um… We have some bad news about our team captains." Ukai started. Hinata's stomach was doing flips and his palms were starting to sweat. 'Oh…no. Oh no. No.no. Nononononono. Please no.' Hinata fond himself thinking but he doesn't know what his saying no to. The worried expression must be plastered to his face because he can feel Kageyama's arm snake around his side and Kageyama pulling Hinata to his side. Hinata lets it happen and snuggles closer so that there is no space between the two of them.

 

"But the big thing is about Suga." Takeda continued.

 

"What?! Is he okay?" Noya asked anxiously as Asahi slowly grabbed Noya's hand.

 

"… Honestly… I'm sorry to say but no… Suga isn't… Isn't…" Takeda started to choke up, but Ukai stepped in to console Takeda and finish what he was saying.

 

"Suga isn't… With us any more." Ukai finished as his eye's started to gloss over.

 

Hinata can't believe what he was told as tears started to roll down his cheeks. Hinata could almost laugh at the fact that, that was the same thing his mother said to him when his father passed a way a few years ago. Hinata did laugh but it came out as a choked sob as he clung to Kageyama.

 

"What do… What do you mean, Suga isn't with us anymore?!" Noya asked with a shaky voice and worried eye's.

 

"Suga passed away." Hinata choked out. Everyone in the room turned to look at him.

 

"No, no he… He can't be." Yamaguchi cried out.

 

"Hinata is right." Ukai confirmed.

 

"What… Are you…. Are you serious? How?" Tsukishima asked, and for the first time in Hinata's life he can read Tsukishima's expressions. worry, concern, betrayal, and most of all Sadness.

 

"… Suicide…" Ukai manages to get out. Hinata's world collapse around him now. Yamaguchi has fallen to the floor on his knees as he chokes out sob after sob with Tsukishima kneeling down and hugging him rubbing circles in to Yamaguchi's back with tears of his own going down his face. Asahi looks like he's in shock with a death grip on Noya's hand but Noya doesn't seem to care. Hinata doesn't notice that Kageyama has dragged him to the other side of the gym and Kageyama has pulled him into a hug, till all he could feel was Kageyama; his hard chest covered by his white gym T-shirt(that is now a damp from his sweet and Hinata's tears), his arm's one around Hinata's shoulders and the other around his lower back. And just like that… Hinata can feel himself fall apart as he sobs and cries into Kageyama and Hinata raps his arms around Kageyama. Hinata can feel Kageyama shake in his arms as tear drops hit the top of his head. Then a foreign hand is pressed to the middle of Hinata's back, startling Hinata as he whips his head to the side to see the owner of the hand. It's Takeda.

 

"Hey… It'll be okay. Ukai and I were talking and we are going to cancel today's after school practice as well as all of tomorrow's practices. If you would like you are allowed to go home for the day. The principal is going send home a letter home with the other students but Ukai and I are going to call home and talk to your families about what happen and why the team was sent home, so don't worry about getting it trouble, okay? Go home and if you need to talk about it you have me and Ukai ." Takeda says with concern in his voice.

 

"T-thank you Sensei… We… Um…. I think we're going to go home." Kageyama mumbles out still holding Hinata in his arms.

"That's ok, everyone else is going home too. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi have already left. Have a safe walk home… And um… Feel better." Takeda finished. Kageyama looks down to Hinata, and in his eyes Hinata can't tell Kageyama is asking to go to his house. Hinata just nodded. Kageyama gives a weak smile. Moving his hands from Hinata's back, he grabs Hinata's hand and they start to walk to the Gym door. Just as Kageyama opens the door Hinata remember something and stops.

 

"Um… Takeda-sensei?" Hinata asks and turned to his sensei.

 

"Yes Hinata?"

 

"I might take up that offer and talk to you some time."

 

"Of course, any time when you feel up to it." Takeda says with a small smile.

 

And with that Hinata and Kageyama walk out of the gym, to Hinata house with the morning sun warmth, lighting up the sky. Hand-in-hand Hinata and Kageyama try to come to terms with the new information of Suga's death.

 

'Suga… I don't know what made you do this but… I _will_ miss you… _We all_ will miss you.' Hinata thinks as his house comes into view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter will be the last one. there maybe one to show how the team grow from this big loss, but I'm still not sure.


	7. The final 'Good-bye'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. WOW! This is the last chapter. I can't believe the support I've gotten from everybody each chapter, it's what kept me writing this whole time. So thank you all for your love and support and I'm about to start a new IwaOi angst fic.  
> It will be called "lies" and if you would like to know when that will come out please fallow me on tumblr  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/theanimefreak12345

 

Daichi sat in the front row. To his left is Suga's mother and next to her is Suga's father. To Daichi's right sits his parents, and in front of them is Suga's casket.

 

One of Suga's family members ( maybe his uncle?) is up at the podium speaking about Suga, and how wonderful he was, how sad he was that this happened, and how we all will miss him dearly. And honestly Daichi was sick and tired of all these speeches. Every single one was saying the exact same but in different words and it make Daichi sick of hearing such lame good-byes. 'Suga deserves better' Daichi thought to himself. The when his uncle finish his generic speech he introduced Daichi to the podium.

As Daichi stood up, his tux feel like it was tightening around him trying to crush him to death. As he stands on shaky legs, he walks up to the stand. Daichi keeps his head down for a few seconds as he stand at the front, but honestly it felt like hours. Once Daichi looks up all he can focus on his family. No not his biological family, but his team. They're all sitting together two rows behind where Daichi was sitting. All of them are in tears. 'Suga… I wish you were here to see h-how much we need you' Daichi though, causing his eyes to well-up but he refused to let them fall yet. Before speaking Daichi let out a shaky breath that he didn't realize he was holding.

 

"T-the first thing that comes to mind right now is song Suga use to listen to whenever he felt… down or when he felt like he was alone. The song is called ' _when I die young_ '. For the longest time I didn't know Suga was even…" Daichi's throat start to hurt with a painful lump, making him make a little choke sound as he starts to speak again.

"Even feeling this way about himself… About everything u-until…until he said to me one time, during one of those bad days were he wouldn't look anyone in the eyes. He kept his head down and said, ' _A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner and maybe then you'll hear the word I've been singin' Funny when you're dead how people start listening_ ', then he just looked up at me with his big, wonderful brown eyes and one of those five star smiles and said ' _it's just a line from a song, Dai. Don't look so worried!_ ' But I could tell that some thing was wrong, but I just let it go. " Daichi couldn't hold it in anymore he let his tears fall and blur up his vision. "But, I can't help to think w-what would have happened if I said something, if- if I told someone that I think something was wrong with Suga… Would we be here today? But I know Suga wouldn't want us to blame ourselves." Daichi choked out. "That verse couldn't have been more right. I would pay any amount of money in the world to know what was going trough Suga's head, at anytime of day… Just to have him here." Daichi toke a big breath in"This is my final good-bye, to my best friend, the love of my life, the best vice-captain I could ask for." Daichi breaths out. Unleashing a new stream of tears. "This was the end of the beginning of his life." Daichi wasn't ready to say what was next… But he knew he had to, so he toke a deep breath in and out to steady his voice. "Goodbye, Koushi" Daichi walks away from the podium, past his seat from before, and sits down next to his team. To his family.  

 

 

 

 

**_THE END_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? let me know what you thought of this chapter!  
> Good-bye, see you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> I have dyslexia so, sorry If there are spelling mistakes! I'll update another chapter if you guys/girls leave a comment saying you would like it. Have a good day :)


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